[[ Trapped Behind The Windows]]

Saturday, July 21, 2007

[[~bLeedInG heArT~]]

now is 1.25am..... i could not slp....my tears are still wet.....
someting happen todae which make me veri down.....
he.... yes is he....
he stabbed into my heart......it was so painful.....
my heart is bleeding.....
these two daes he had been throwing temper to me.....
i tolerate till now......
my heart is so pain nw.....
my tears is nv stopping.....
why mus u do this to me....
aren't u love me alot???
or ur heart have shifted.....
u no longer love me anymore?????
is it b'coz i m no longer the pretty gal that u like???
WHY??? WHY MUST ALL THIS HAPPEN TO ME????
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GOD, ARE U WATCHING ME???
WHY MUST EVERYTHING BAD HAPPEN TO ME???/
U GAVE ME A POOR FAMILY WHICH MAKE ME HAVE TO COME OUT AND WORK SINCE I WAS IN PRI SCHOOL......
U GAVE ME A FAT BODY AND AN UGLY FACE..... WHICH MAKE ME LIVES UNDER OTHERS' LAUGHTER AND JOKES.....
U GAVE ME A STUPID BRAIN......
U GAVE ME ALL THESE I DUN MIND, AS LONG AS I NOE HE IS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME.... BUT WHY IS THIS HAPPENING???
U GAVE ME HOPE, BUT TOOK IT AWAY.....
I NV EXPECT MUCH..... I JUZ HOPE THAT MY FAMILY LIVES TOGETHER SAFE AND SOUND, DADDY DUN HAVE TO WORK SO HARD......
I DUN LIVES IN LAUGHTER AND TEASES.....
AM I ASKING FOR TOO MUCH......
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TO DEAR DEAR,
i noe u will not be able to c this....
i wanted to tell u this, but i do not have the courage to sae it out.....i noe u have ur own world to lives, but have u spare a thot for me whenever u make decisions???? u nv tot of my feeling..... yes, i noe u r not a romantic person who will send me flowers, but i oso nv ask for much..... i juz wan 30% of ur love..... u always put ur friends first.... u wan to fulfil ur promise to them..... but u nv fulfil ur promises to me....how much promises did u fulfil? i can sae til nw, NONE..... but still i dun mind all these.... i juz wan abit of ur attentions.....
i juz nid a guy to lend me his shoulder when i cry....... dote and comfort me when i'm feeling..... down..... y cant u juz treat me as impt as friends ard u...... do u noe wat u did todae make me veri sad..... u reali disappointed me...... i told u i not coming to find u anymore n stop finding me..... u juz reply a gd nite........ m i tat nt impt which make u so boring...... nt worth u wasting time..... if this is so..... then y muz i waste so much time and effort to patch up tat time....
todae suppose to be our 26th mth anniversary and this happen.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i m realli veri sick nw.... i reali nid a shoulder to let me cry out loud.... i cant hold it anymore..... i am going to collapse...... i nid someone...... someone who can listen to my miserable........my life journey has stopped...... no more route for me to go.......................................................

~bleeding ugly duckling~

[[Trapped Behind The Windows]]*|1:24 AM|

Sunday, July 08, 2007

[[~~~mY HAPPY fAMILY~~~]]

L0vELy sIsTeRsss.......
SEE my MUm So Thin.... Last time she use to have a bit fats...she work too hard for the family....

my brother has become betta.... ta guai le hen du
my poor father..... work 365daes in a yr and 12 hours a dae....

he want the best for his child... he will buy us lots of things for new yr, but he nv buy any new yr clothes for himself.....

xin ku de fu mu bring up the 3 children....

my sis has fulfiled my mum's wish by taking family photo....

what i want to say is, i have a happy family......

we will be able to stay together to fight all problems......

[[Trapped Behind The Windows]]*|9:51 PM|

Thursday, July 05, 2007

[[~fiNallY I Back~]]

after so long i finnaly can blog le.... hmmm...... shall update on wat i had done...

FIRSTLY,

i had signed up the slimming program at LONDON WEIGHT MANAGEMENT.... omg..... guess how much.... is total $550 for 10 session plus upgrade of the trial sessions...... tat tdae i went online and saw this web. they want our details then i give loh... after 1 week, LWM called me and ask me to go for the trial. mei xiang dao, after tat trial i lose 600g of my FATS ....i m so happy. lucky i got sign up the thingy, if nt i will continued to gain more weight loh.... till nw, i have gone for 4 sessions leh.... left 7 more sessions.... hope tat after diz, i will not be the laughter of others anymore....( char, i will nt be hamburgers anymore...lol). the program consist of i oso dun noe hw to sae lah.... but it is quite xin ku for the starting, but after a few sessions, i m used to it le.... total i have lose 2kg of my weight le.... so happy....

SECONDLY,

i am now a tutor le..... with 3 students- P2,P5,P6.... AND i had withdrawn from another assignment which is P1 gal at Crandborne rd wich took me 2hrs to travel there every wed, thur, and fri morning. .. if the child is veri guai, i dun mind teaching her despite the long journey there. but she was realli a ^%#^%^%#!%$$&^@!@$$%^ loh.... she shows no respect to me and treat me like her maid ask me to make moilo for her, take things for her. ask her to do assessment, she want to choose her own pages(easy page like writing numbers answer). give her spelling she want words that she already noe very well. .... the mother ask me to do her Schoolwork for her loh....worse thing is, she wanna slap me..... and throw books at me..... whr can we find such a "GOOD" students .... n the mother pay me dam little loh.... coz she is my 1st student so i do not realli noe the rate well after i ask many ppl, n i noe i gt cheated loh.... $240 for 12 lessons each 2hrs and cover all subjects.... !#$#&U$@@^& rite? it is not even enough for me to pay transportation loh..... the worse is, the mother refused to pay me the tutiton fee loh... sae wat i nv teach properly, nv teach for 12 lessons she sae muz go teach 3 more lessons before she gave me the fee.... wth.... loh.... in the end i told my agent that i giave up the pay.... n give her FREE loh..... i'll nv step into that hse to let them torture.....

THIRDLY,

my results for diz sem is nt bad so far..... got B for BusEnt and B+ for OB... but calcul got D+ loh.... juz passed....lol.... nvm, can ork harder..... BusEnt project is nw facing major problem when we are almost done..... we may nid to redo the whole thing wif a new idea.... hope tat the problem can be resovlve and so that we do not have to redo it.... coz TIME left is limited....

LASTLY,

i got a bad news... recently i keep complaiining that my period nv come for 4-5mths le and i had stomach pain.... finally, yesterdae i went to see the doc. dun ask y i nw then go see doc.... coz i gt no $$$$ to go before that.... i had the urine test and doc sae smth that worries me.... tat is doc sae coz my hormones are veri little which causes my period to stop.... and dun noe what homones has alot in my the ________. if these continue, when i married, i will find it hard to get pregnant..... i m so scared... coz i love babies...... so is my xiang gong.... i told him abt it and ask him to find another gal.... he sae i am so silly and will stay wif me no matter wat.... i m touched by his words.... i dun noe if he speak the truth, but i m still veri happy. coz i have found myself a good man who loves me alot..... and i love him too..... we have start to save for our next yr de wedding le..... remember to tell me ur address woh... send u my wedding invitation.... lol.....

[[Trapped Behind The Windows]]*|11:49 AM|